I did a funny kind of tongue-in-cheek post about how to annoy a dad. And I thought, “why do dads get to be annoyed?”. Why can’t moms join in on the fun? Surely moms want to be annoyed also right?
Here is a list of how you can annoy your mom:
Leave dirty dishes sitting out
It never fails I walk into our family room where my son has his TV set up and I will find at least 2 or 3 dirty dishes lying around. This doesn’t bother me too much, but it annoys my wife.
In fact, it has gotten to the point with my teenagers that they are not allowed to eat anywhere but the kitchen table.
Don’t rinse your dishes
When I can get them to actually get the dishes to the sink the next biggest pet peeve for moms is not rinsing them out. Nothing like finding a dirty bowl in the sink filled with nasty crusted on food that takes forever to rinse out.
Change clothes in the middle of the day
Do you know what moms love more than dirty dishes?
Dirty laundry.
Ok, ok, I am kidding. They hate laundry, and to be honest I hate laundry also so I am on board with this. But if you want to annoy your mother make sure and change clothes in the middle of the day so she has more laundry to deal with.
Leave dirty clothes in your room
Another pro piss-off mom tip is to let your dirty clothes pile up in your room. Make sure they are extra smelly.
Moms love to have to retrieve dirty laundry from everyone’s room. It makes laundry time that much more enjoyable.
Forget to take out the trash
Is one of your main chores to take out the trash when it is full? Well if you want to make your mom uber angry just forget to do it. I mean someone will eventually realize that the leaning pile of trash is about to fall over and they will take it out.
Eat chips on the couch
Or eat any messy food on the couch. But chips are usually the easiest way to annoy your mom. Cheetos or Doritos or anything orange colored will be sure to put a smile on her face.
Walk on her recently mopped floor
Make sure and wait for her to just get started mopping the kitchen and let her know you need to get a drink. But walk a good few steps across the wet floor before you let her know. The louder she yells to stop the more you know you annoyed her.
Get out a toy after she just picked them all up
Moms enjoy picking up messes. Especially when you leave your toys all over the place. So just after she cleans up the living room and all the toys are put away, go ahead and get that Barbie doll out and start playing with it again.
Tell her you are hungry but refuse to eat what she fixes you
This one can apply to dads also but moms love it when you just don’t want to eat. Tell her you are super hungry and wait until she puts the food in front of you. Then tell her in the whiniest voice ever that you don’t like that.
Pee on the toilet seat
Moms love it when you leave the seat down to go pee. Just hose it down like your putting out a raging wildfire.
And also make sure you…
Pee on the floor around the toilet
This one really gets your mom in a fit. Because she absolutely loves to clean up pee on the floor on the back of the toilet and everywhere else it goes. This one is not recommended for daughters.
Use the toilet just after she cleaned it
This I will never understand. If you got to go then you got to go. If she is cleaning the bathroom wait until just after she cleans the toilet and run in there and tell her you got to go potty.
Throw dirty clothes on top of clean clothes
If your laundry room is anything like mine clean clothes are sitting in a basket that is waiting to be folded. And there is a hamper for dirty clothes (typically overflowing).
If you want to make your mom love you even more just take your dirty clothes and throw them on top of the clean baskets.
Refuse to get up for school
You know how your mom always wants you to go to bed early for school? Well, she really enjoys it when you stay up late and then refuse to get up for school in the morning. It’s a great way to start off her morning with a prime annoyance.
Wake up with the sun on her days off
You know how during the school week it takes you multiple times for your mom to wake up? Wouldn’t it be hilarious if on the weekends when everyone can sleep in you wake up super early. Yeah, moms love it when they have to get up early on the weekends.
Say mom loudly 3 or more times in a row
Mom, MOM, MOOOOOM! Just like that. And then when she asks you what you need just ask for a cup of water.
Refuse to get dressed in the morning
Every mom enjoys it when their child refuses to get dressed in the morning. Even though you picked out every piece of your outfit, don’t let that stop you from throwing an absolute tantrum about getting dressed.
Refuse to take your medicine
Speaking of morning routines you know how moms are always trying to keep you healthy and alive? Yeah just refuse to take your medicine. Better yet when she tries to give it to you run out of the room screaming that it tastes “yucky”.
Refuse to get your hair fixed
While your mom is trying to brush your hair make sure and move around a lot and let her know she is pulling your hair. Maybe just grab the brush and try to brush it yourself and mess it up right after she fixes it.
Refuse to take a nap
Did you get up early today? Well, don’t make it so easy when it is naptime. In face tell her several times in an annoying way that you are not tired and that you are too old for naps.
Kick her seat in the car
When you go on a road trip wait just until your mom falls asleep. Then proceed to start kicking the back of her seat. Start gently and then increase the kicks until she wakes up and says something to you. Then just as she turns around, kick it again.
Color everywhere but the paper in front of you
When your mom tells you to stay between the lines when coloring that is just a suggestion. Color wherever you feel like because she can’t stifle your creativity. And if you really want to piss her off make sure and draw a smiley face on the wall.
Run away when walking in the parking lot or road
Moms are always overprotective. For some strange reason, they want to hold your hand all the time. But don’t let a busy parking lot stop you from bolting away from her. Those cars will stop before they hit you.
Dump the toy box out but don’t play with them
This one works best just after your mom has picked up all of your toys. Just as she sits down dump out the toy box and walk away like nothing happened.
Don’t answer her phone call
For the older kids don’t ever answer her phone call. I mean who even calls people anymore. Just let it go to voice mail. If it was important she would have sent a text.
Don’t reply to her text
But if she does text you don’t text her back. Especially if she asks you important questions like where am I supposed to pick you up? Or what time is your band practice tonight? She should have wrote those details down.
Completely Ignore Her When She Calls Your Name
Pretend you’re a statue, suddenly incapable of hearing, speaking, or even blinking. Bonus points if you’re scrolling on your phone or watching TV at the time. Let her repeat your name louder and louder, only to respond with an exaggerated “Oh, were you talking to me?” after she’s already given up.
Forget Her Birthday
Act completely normal all day—until she finally brings it up. Then hit her with, “Wait, your birthday is today? I thought that was next month!” Follow it up with a rushed “Well, I was going to surprise you later…” as you scramble to make a DIY card from printer paper and a Sharpie.
Completely Ignore the Fact That She Just Got Her Hair Cut
If she walks in with a fresh haircut, give her a blank look and casually say, “Did you change your earrings?” Let her stew in silence until she finally says, “I got my hair cut!” Then hit her with, “Ohhh, yeah, I guess I do see it now. You look…exactly the same!”
Put Headphones On and Turn Them All the Way Up
Blast music like you’re the star of your own personal concert. When she tries to get your attention, respond by dramatically mouthing words and pointing at your ears like you can’t hear a thing. For added flair, throw in some dance moves that are 95% cringe and 5% effort.
Turn On a TV and Walk Out of the Room
Flip on her least favorite channel and walk away like it’s a live art installation. When she inevitably yells, “Why is the TV on if no one’s watching?” shout back from the other room, “I’m kind of watching!” Then never return to the scene of the crime.
Make Lots of Noise While She Is Watching Her Favorite TV Show
Drop pots, pans, and random household objects as if you’re auditioning for a percussion group. Or, even better, ask a hundred questions about the plot of the show she’s watching—bonus points if you’ve never watched a single episode before. “Wait, who’s that guy? Why is she crying? Is this the one with the zombies?”
Eat Some Cheetos Then Wipe Your Hands on Your Clothes
Go full toddler-mode with a bag of Cheetos: orange dust everywhere—hands, face, even your shirt. Then, look her dead in the eyes as you wipe your hands on your pants and shrug like it’s a perfectly normal thing to do. Be prepared for her to hand you a wet wipe with the force of someone handing you a court summons.
Tell Her the Night Before It Is Due That You Need to Work on a Big Project for School
Wait until she’s about to relax for the evening before dropping the bombshell: “Oh, by the way, I need a tri-fold poster board, 17 glue sticks, and a working volcano model for tomorrow.” Watch her go through all five stages of grief in under a minute while you casually ask if there’s any ice cream left in the freezer.
Annoying your mom isn’t hard to do. But with a little effort you will have no problem making her roll her eyes so hard they might fall out.
But all jokes aside. Go easy on your mom. Remember she has to put up with your dad.
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